Guilt-Free TV Products Solve Today's Biggest Problems

New as seen on TV products could dramatically change your life by getting you in the best shape of your life, making you far healthier, creating massive riches, making your home as germ-free as a hospital operating room, and helping you achieve culinary magnificence; a kitchen performance only a top chef can deliver in just half the time. Why do infomercials work so well at selling to us?

We never knew we needed it, but in thirty minutes or less, we are hooked on the life altering possibilities that the new product promises to bring us.  

The Kitchen Upgraded

Old products are upgraded and promoted on TV as revolutionary new kitchen appliances that chop, slice, bake, and grill better than ever before.  We can now even clean up the kitchen mess with revolutionary new steam cleaners and vacuums.  We have come to believe that we must have these infomercial gadgets to make us happy.

What is so bad about our old stuff?  What was wrong with plain old sharp knife?  It has been slicing and chopping for thousands of years. 

Electricity came along, and we plugged our knife into the wall, and it became much better at slicing than ever before.

Even the kitchen blender soon replaced the mortar and pestle.  The Magic Bullet blender seems like a good upgrade from grinding things with rocks. 

Speaking of blenders, have you seen the Montel Williams emulsifier thingy?  Do we really need things emulsified?  Some people think so.  They don't want to miss out on those cancer killing nutrients from fruit and vegetable skins and pulp.  I get that.  I'm sure I can get used to swallowing the pasty goop that our forefathers were happy to strain out automatically, with an electric juicer just a decade ago.

Cleanup Is A Breeze

We want everything to be better than before.  No more obsolete brooms and nasty old mops to clean our floors.  We need no-loss-of-suction vacuums, and steam mops which kill 99.9% of bacteria.  When your floor is this clean, your baby can eat off of it, and your family will be safer too.  Safety is a strong motivator.

Be Smarter Too

Of course, even our education has to be upgraded.  Did you know when baby is done licking your ultra clean floor, your baby can read too?   It's true.  We can even learn to speak a language with the language learning software from Rosetta Stone.  I wonder what would happen if you put an American baby in front of a laptop with the English version of the software installed on it?  Would it learn to speak faster than the other babies?

Maybe you've mastered reading and talking and you just want to make some money to pay for these new infomercial products. You have come to the right place.

Get Rich Quick

You can learn the Shortcut to Internet Millions and how to make money with cash flow systems from the wealthy gurus on TV.  Why is it that we need a panel of sexy young ladies to sell financial information?  I'm guessing housewives are not the  people watching these shows.

Shed Those Extra Pounds

The old-fashioned sit up is not even immune to upgrades.  The Ab Circle Pro will now do a better job toning your stomach in far less time.  In fact, working out with free weights is history.  Now you can lift your own body's weight with the Total Gym.

You can even forget about expensive and bulky fitness equipment such as the treadmill.  Now you must confuse your body with the the extreme 90 day workout program.  All you need are dumbbells and an hour a day.  After all that infomercial watching and grilling you better do something quickly to shed those pounds!

If diet and exercise is not your thing, just eat your way to health with supplements and pills to loose weight and reverse aging. 

Look Great Without Breaking A Sweat

If you still cannot get the body and look you are after with diet and exercise, try forcing your flab into shape with a Kymaro Body Shaper.  Be sure to also cover your face with mineral makeup and age defying face serums from France.  I think its melons that make it work.

If it was not for the old melon farmer's wife who tripped in the field, and was later mistaken for the farmer's daughter, we would have never known about the a miracles of the melon.  Okay.  I made part that up.

If you are getting older, uglier, flabbier, poorer, or  unhappier there is a new TV product that fixes all that.  If not now, then soon.

The Infomercial Sales Pitch

You won't want it at first.  In fact, you will not even realize you needed it until its too late.  Months later, while staring at the latest gadget collecting dust in your garage, you will wonder why you had to have it so badly.  Don't linger on those negative thoughts.  Just list it on Craig's List and move on to something that will make you happy.

It's not enough for us to realize that it might be nice to have some of these life enhancing TV products.  We will only buy if tons of free stuff is thrown in.  Get those accessories, free shipping, and an extended warranty for an incredible low price if you act in the next 5 minutes.

Avoiding Buyer's Remorse

But wait there is more.  As long as you don't switch off the TV or flip on your computer to read the sobering online product reviews from actual consumers, they will throw in a second one for just the cost of shipping and handling only.  What a deal!  If you comparison shop, you cam find those exact same as seen on TV items for less money and no mysterious handling fees (at least with Amazon).

Take a cold shower.  Do a little online research.  Take a nap.  Take a peak out into your garage or storage shed at last year's collection of must have items, and then charge it!  Allow 4-8 weeks for delivery.